THE 100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS OF 2005
OFB narrowed the list down to 12
1. HURRICANES - They proved to be a bit inconvenient this year, to say the least. Hopefully next year’s deadly locust plagues and rivers of blood will help put it all behind us once and for all.
2. TOM CRUISE - Tom Cruise is completely sane, virile, exhibits self control, is a member of a totally rational non-cult religion, does not eat babies, and does not use mind control to trick Hollywood starlets into carrying the seed of space-demons.
3. BIRD FLU - Frankly, they’ve crapped on my car one too many times, so I’m all far it! Watch for Fred Phelps’ extreme followers to explain that this is God’s punishment for gay birds.
4. PARIS HILTON - The extent in which this plastic empty souled waste of space continues to get crammed down our throats is mind-boggling. Ha! I said “crammed down our throats” and “Paris Hilton” in the same sentence!
5. DESEPERATE HOUSEWIVES - Only Eva Longoria’s character is an actual housewife, and her husband was in jail for half the season. And Teri Hatcher’s character is one of the most unwatchably stupid women to ever appear on television.
6. SCIENTOLOGY - Every religion has a bit of the hard to believe associated with it, but Scientology takes the cake. Imagine spending tens of thousands of dollars to work your way up into their program (salvation through cash) to learn that 75 million years ago, an evil space demon named Xenu enslaved aliens in a Hawaiian volcano (even though the island hadn’t been formed yet) and all of our problems are a result of their ghosts that are trapped within our body.
7. BRITNEY SPEARS and KEVIN FEDERLINE - The worst of the vapid celebrity couples out there. From their stupid reality show, to the non stop tabloid coverage of their relationship, I’ve had enough.
8. LINDSEY LOHAN - After having her breasts digitally reduced by Disney for the new Herbie movie, she had them reduced for real by using one of those wacky “stop eating stuff” diets.
9. SONY - As if listening to Britney Spears’ CDs wasn’t bad enough, Sony put virtually undetectable secret software on the disc and numerous others in their catalog that rendered computers unfortunate enough to play them susceptible to hacker attacks. Meanwhile Sony faces speculation that their PS3 system will be released shortly after the XBOX 720 comes out.
10. 50 CENT - Nothing says gangsta like your own flavor of Vitamin Water. Maybe its better to die tryin’, after all.
11. MY OBESSIVE COMPULSIVE HABITS - Did I really lock my doors? I forgot to tell myself that I locked each door out loud so I’ll remember that I actually did it. Or maybe the memory of locking that door is just a dream and I really didn’t do it. Why am I wasting time writing this while my iron is burning my house down?
12. BLUETOOTH EARPIECES - Watching legions of undead corporate slaves walk around with these cellular phone Borg implants hanging out of their ears is a sad thing indeed.
Get the rest of the 100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS OF 2005 from retrocrush
OFB narrowed the list down to 12
1. HURRICANES - They proved to be a bit inconvenient this year, to say the least. Hopefully next year’s deadly locust plagues and rivers of blood will help put it all behind us once and for all.
2. TOM CRUISE - Tom Cruise is completely sane, virile, exhibits self control, is a member of a totally rational non-cult religion, does not eat babies, and does not use mind control to trick Hollywood starlets into carrying the seed of space-demons.
3. BIRD FLU - Frankly, they’ve crapped on my car one too many times, so I’m all far it! Watch for Fred Phelps’ extreme followers to explain that this is God’s punishment for gay birds.
4. PARIS HILTON - The extent in which this plastic empty souled waste of space continues to get crammed down our throats is mind-boggling. Ha! I said “crammed down our throats” and “Paris Hilton” in the same sentence!
5. DESEPERATE HOUSEWIVES - Only Eva Longoria’s character is an actual housewife, and her husband was in jail for half the season. And Teri Hatcher’s character is one of the most unwatchably stupid women to ever appear on television.
6. SCIENTOLOGY - Every religion has a bit of the hard to believe associated with it, but Scientology takes the cake. Imagine spending tens of thousands of dollars to work your way up into their program (salvation through cash) to learn that 75 million years ago, an evil space demon named Xenu enslaved aliens in a Hawaiian volcano (even though the island hadn’t been formed yet) and all of our problems are a result of their ghosts that are trapped within our body.
7. BRITNEY SPEARS and KEVIN FEDERLINE - The worst of the vapid celebrity couples out there. From their stupid reality show, to the non stop tabloid coverage of their relationship, I’ve had enough.
8. LINDSEY LOHAN - After having her breasts digitally reduced by Disney for the new Herbie movie, she had them reduced for real by using one of those wacky “stop eating stuff” diets.
9. SONY - As if listening to Britney Spears’ CDs wasn’t bad enough, Sony put virtually undetectable secret software on the disc and numerous others in their catalog that rendered computers unfortunate enough to play them susceptible to hacker attacks. Meanwhile Sony faces speculation that their PS3 system will be released shortly after the XBOX 720 comes out.
10. 50 CENT - Nothing says gangsta like your own flavor of Vitamin Water. Maybe its better to die tryin’, after all.
11. MY OBESSIVE COMPULSIVE HABITS - Did I really lock my doors? I forgot to tell myself that I locked each door out loud so I’ll remember that I actually did it. Or maybe the memory of locking that door is just a dream and I really didn’t do it. Why am I wasting time writing this while my iron is burning my house down?
12. BLUETOOTH EARPIECES - Watching legions of undead corporate slaves walk around with these cellular phone Borg implants hanging out of their ears is a sad thing indeed.
Get the rest of the 100 MOST ANNOYING THINGS OF 2005 from retrocrush
posted by softLOGIC at 7:08 AM
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